If you notice, from the beginning of a life, we are somehow or the other are attached to someone or something. A child is attached to her/his parents or maybe grandparents or anyone for that matter, just because they live with them. It’s quiet comprehensible that a two month old child is free from the knowledge of the worldly affairs, but still he gets attached to them because it’s involuntary. It’s sort of a reflexive action, an impulsive behavior done without prior thinking. We cannot control over our attachment on someone or something. I can’t recall if I any huge attachment to anything related to materials, I mean yes I am NO Saint, but I don’t think I have ever been attracted to things. But yes, I am definitely possessive about my things. I get super irritated whenever someone misplaces my thing. And yes if I won’t find it and further, if I lose that thing, definitely I will get sad hearten but then I will try to get over it because I do not possess it. It had possessed me. Even though I had bought it, it belonged to someone else- while they were creating it. Even though their motive of making was to earn money; to pass onto others and make money through it, in strictly speaking terms, it never belonged to me. (Hell, it did not even belong to them! but since I am speaking for myself, I won’t go to details about others’ others because then this article will turn into super boring and confusing). It had me for only that particular of time till I needed it. And it may sound very spirituous coming from me but I do believe in the spirituous force. We are the damned soul haunted by our desires. All these are nothing but irresistible things which we claim for, we live for and want everyday. We strive on and for this.
And everyone knows that someday they will have to give up on that, that it cannot last forever, that we receive everything only because it is meant to be taken away from us, that we experience detachment only because we allowed ourselves to be attached. We experience hatred and love, happiness and sadness, good days and bad days only because it corresponds to our respective attachment. We cannot control ourselves from getting attached. No force, yoga, or gyaans from anyone can prevent us from developing attachment. All we can do is manage the degree of attachment we develop for everything, towards everything.
This definitely doesn’t mean that we stop loving things, getting attached, respecting others or anything like that. How can we do that? We are not saint yaar. Hell, even saints of these days are not free of their ‘moha and maya‘, so how can we expect ourselves to become so knowledgeable after reading few articles and trying that out in our lives? Had it been so simple, life would have been jhingalala hoho! Listen, even Mahavira Bhagwan gained enlightenment after twelve and a half years after he left his home. That also in that time, when their was zero growth of information technologies and industrialization and competitiveness. Tab itna time laga, toh abhi socho kitna lagega! Waise bhi ab timespan of living is decreasing, all other development increasing, toh humko uss level mei ane mei kafi time hai, mitroo!
Jokes sided, what I am trying to express is, we cannot shield ourselves from everything. It s necessary to even experience negative forms of attachment. This is what life is all about. Attachment, then detachment, happiness and sadness. Everything. But what I feel is “attachment is the root of all sufferings” (someone’s quote, I forgot whose). We get attached to few things and people and when they leave it’s excruciating. We help people, being utterly unselfish, but it’s saddening when they don’t appreciate it as they took us for granted. Believe me, I know this because this happens with me very often and I don’t blame them. I blame myself because I develop a fancy attachment with them. Just because I help them in need, doesn’t mean I have the leverage, the control, on them. They are not bound to respond me every time. I know some do intentionally; having this mentality that helping others would depreciate them, but I don’t ignore them. I do make them realize it, and it makes them guilt. And guilt is the worst form of punishment. Knowing your mistake, having that exposed yet being too arrogant about it? Yep, that! I also believe in “what goes around, comes around”, so yes, it sums up everything.
So concluding my article with a deep deep thought:
Love people, care for them, be nice, but don’t get attached. Love unconditionally and respect everyone and you won’t be attached to anyone.
P.S : It’s quiet ironical for me to write on this topic when I, for myself, am trying to manage my degree of attachment towards everything, but seriously writing this gave me inexplicable peace. There were many inner conflicts which was hard to comprehend but after reviewing my own work, I am happy with that. I hope anyone who takes the pain to read my long articles get affected by it so that it resolves their inner conflicts because many a times there are so many things which we don’t want to tell anyone. I mean, we know that thing right, but it’s impossible to say that out loud in words, even to our closest person. At least such happens with me so I know that. I mean, I have many people who are willing to listen my rantings but I just can’t find proper words to designate my feelings and writing down this gave me such satisfaction. 🙂